


Lightly Fried Fish Fillets

by Ishxallxgood



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Humor, M/M, Yurio is going to murder Viktor if Yuuri doesn't do it first, lightly fried fish fillets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-18 11:04:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9381683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ishxallxgood/pseuds/Ishxallxgood
Summary: You know the meme, the one with the lightly fried fish fillets?  Well if you don't, just google 'lightly fried fish fillets'So picture this, Viktor, really likes lightly fried fish fillets.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Because I seriously can't stop laughing at [this YoI altered lightly fried fish fillet meme](https://misquotes-on-ice.tumblr.com/post/153312202567/leaked-text-messages).

Yuuri smiled as he opened the door to the apartment, Makkachin barking happily as he bounded inside, finding Viktor in the kitchen.  Some days Yuuri was still in awe of the fact that he’s here, in Saint Petersburg, living with Viktor.

 

“What are you making?” Yuuri asked snaking his arms around Viktor’s waist, standing on his tiptoes as he peered over Viktor’s shoulder.

 

“Lightly fried fish fillets.” Viktor replied, turning so he could give Yuuri a quick kiss before resuming his cooking.

 

“Sounds good.”  Yuuri said releasing Viktor and making his way onto the couch, Makkachin padding after him and settled down on the couch next to him.

 

“It should, lightly fried fish fillets are my specialty.”

 

“Looking forward to it.”  Yuuri said wondering why they were still talking about it.

 

Viktor’s voice floated into the living room again, “You better be, there ain’t nothing better than some lightly fried fish fillets.”

 

Letting out a sigh Yuuri leaned back into the couch, turning his head toward the kitchen, “Okay… I get the point, you’re really into lightly fried fish fillets.”

 

“Heh,” he heard Viktor chuckle to himself, “Lightly fried fish fillets.”

 

Shrugging Yuuri just figured Viktor was being Viktor again and went back to paying attention to the news report he was watching, trying to pick out the Russian phrases he knew.

 

About ten minutes later, Yuuri felt Viktor's arms around him, his breath hot on his ear. “Yuuri…” Viktor cooed, sending shivers down Yuuri's spine, “the lightly fried fish fillets are ready.”

 

“Okay, thank you.” Yuuri said patting Viktor on the arm before getting up, relocating to the kitchen, where Viktor's lightly fried fish fillets were waiting for him.

 

Yuuri could feel Viktor's eyes on him as he ate, anticipation written all over his face.  Yuuri did his best to tune him out and focus on eating, but there was just something about the way Viktor was staring at him that made him extremely uncomfortable.

 

“Sooooooooo…” Viktor asked, “how are the lightly fried fish fillets?”

 

“Uhh… lightly fried?” Yuuri said, slightly confused as to what Viktor's fixation on the damn fish fillets were.

 

“Yes, yes,” Viktor said enthusiastically, “they are indeed lightly fried, but how _are_ the lightly fried fish fillets?”

 

“Viktor… is there a reason you keep saying lightly fried fish fillets?”

 

“No, no reason, I just really enjoy lightly fried fish fillets.”

 

“I see…” Yuuri said returning to his food.

 

“But Yuuri,” Viktor whined, shifting closer to him. “You never answered my question, how are the lightly fried fish fillets?”

 

Yuuri took a deep breath and resisted the urge to stab his fork into Viktor's jugular, “They are fucking fantastic.”

 

Viktor beamed at him, “that's good to hear, I'm glad you're enjoying the lightly fried fish fillets.”

 

It took every ounce of self control Yuuri had to not turn around and strangle Viktor. Instead he just shot Viktor a glare before returning to his food, praying to whichever god would listen that Viktor would not say ' _lightly fried fish fillets_ ’ again.

 

“Thank you for the meal.” Yuuri said after finishing his food, Viktor was still sitting there, uncomfortably close, which was something Yuuri never thought he’d ever think, eyes shining, watching his every move.

 

“You're welcome my Yuuri, I'm glad you enjoyed my lightly fried fish fillets.”

 

“Uh huh,” Yuuri said getting up, empty plate in hand as he made his way toward the sink, evidently the gods did not hear his prayer.  Yuuri didn't make it far before he stopped short, mouth falling open at the copious amount of lightly fried fish fillets neatly stacked on various plates all over the counters.

 

“Viktor…” He said turning to face his beloved, "how much food did you make?”

 

“Oh you know,” Viktor replied nonchalantly, “just some lightly fried fish fillets.”

 

“Seriously, Viktor, what is your deal with the lightly fried fish fillets?”

 

“I really like lightly fried fish fillets.”

 

“I can see that, but... why?”

 

“Well... lightly fried fish fillets are amazing.  My favorite lightly fried fish fillet is red snapper, though it's hard to find around here, so I have to get them specially shipped here. It’s usually easier to go with cod for my lightly fried fish fillets, but the one you just had was the snapper. I've tried to lightly fry a sea bass fillet once but it really didn't turn out so good, those are much better grilled, or pan roasted. I do like the earthy taste of a lightly fried trout fillet, but it can get a little much, so if I can help it I usually just get the snapper.”

 

Yuuri narrowed his eyes at Viktor in disbelief. “That does not answer the _why_ question.”

 

“Did you not enjoy my lightly fried fish fillets?” Viktor exclaimed, feigned hurt in his voice, but Yuuri was really so close to murder that he barely noticed.

 

“They were delicious,” He said with an exasperated sigh, “I'm just trying to figure out what your fixation with them is.”

 

“My fixation with lightly fried fish fillets?” Viktor asked, his whole face lighting up as he took another bite of fish. “Well it all started two years ago, I was watching Shokugeki no Soma-”

 

“You were watching what?”

 

“Shokugeki no Soma, it's this anime about this elite cooking school… and the main protagonist is a cooking god.”

 

“Wait, wait, wait.” Yuuri said tossing the plate he was still holding into the sink before steadying himself on the counter. “You watch anime?”

 

“No, just the one.” Viktor said finishing up his food. “Chris turned me onto it, it's quite brilliant really… anyway so I was watching Shokugeki no Soma, and there was this one episode where he was making lightly fried fish fillets, and I thought to myself, that looks delicious, lightly fried fish fillets… so I learned how to make lightly fried fish fillets.”

 

“Really?” Yuuri asked incredulously, somewhat convinced that Viktor just saying lightly fried fish fillets to drive him up a wall and it had nothing at all to do with this anime that Viktor evidently watches.

 

“Would you like to watch with me?” Viktor asked, leading them into the living room. “I could pull up the episode with the lightly fried fish fillets.”

 

“No, no, that won’t be necessary.” Yuuri said settling down next to Viktor on the couch, Makkachin jumping up to lay himself across his two humans.

 

“Are you sure?  It might help you understand why I like lightly fried fish fillets.”  Viktor said reaching for the laptop.

 

In the end Yuuri conceded to watching the anime with Viktor, utterly confused on what the appeal was.  Although he had to admit the food did look good, not good enough to want to devote himself to perfecting lightly fried fish fillets, but enough to make him _want_ to eat something, like a lightly fried fish fillet.

 

“Oh that reminds me!” Viktor exclaimed when the episode ended, “I should have Minako send me some kaki no tane... I would really like to try making some lightly fried fish fillets using that as batter.  It’s been so long I’ve forgotten about that.”

 

Yuuri sucked in a breath, unsure of how many more times he can hear the phrase ‘ _lightly fried fish fillets_ ’ before he loses it.  “Seriously?”

 

“I’m always serious Yuuri, especially when it comes to lightly fried fish fillets.”

 

“I’m going to bed.” Yuuri said, removing Viktor’s arm from around his shoulders and gently pushed Makkachin off of him.

 

“Would you like another lightly fried fish fillet before bed?”  Viktor asked with a knowing grin as Yuuri got up.

 

“Say ‘ _lightly fried fish fillet_ ’ again and I swear to god, you're sleeping on the couch tonight.”  Yuuri said in a low growl.

 

“Yuuri I'm hurt, do you not like lightly fried fish fillets?”

 

“If they ask me why I murdered you in your sleep, the answer will be lightly fried fish fillets.” Yuuri said before entering the bedroom, the door closing behind him with a click, and Viktor knew he was on the couch that night.

 

Shrugging Viktor picked up his computer again, it was worth it, if it meant he could get away with saying lightly fried fish fillets about thirty times in one night. Though he wasn't sure if he _got away_ with saying lightly fried fish fillets, considering he was on the couch for the night, it was still worth it. Besides, it was a damn comfortable couch, and Makkachin was still there with him.

 

Viktor had fallen asleep at some point, he hadn't even realized it until the front door of the apartment creaked opened waking him up. Letting out a yawn he pawed at his phone, wincing as his eyes slowly registered the time. Quickly unlocking his phone he sent Yuri a quick text message, giggling silently to himself as he heard a ding behind him.

  


 

Viktor sat up and looked over his shoulder at a quite peeved Yuri Plisetsky.  “Lightly fried fish fillet?” He offered, gesturing toward the kitchen.

 

“VIKTOR I’M GOING TO FUCKING END YOU!” Yuri screeched leaping over the couch landing on Viktor with an elbow to the gut causing Viktor to cry out in pain as Makkachin yelped, scrambling off of the couch, avoiding Yuri’s flailing limbs.

 

“Makkachin you traitor!~” Viktor exclaimed, holding Yuri at bay. “Aren’t you supposed to protect your helpless master!?~  I even gave you a lightly fried fish fillet!!~”

 

The poodle just gave Viktor a bark and padded away toward the bedroom door, his paws scratching lightly at the closed door, begging Yuuri to let him in.

 

Yuuri groaned as the screams from the living room filtered into the bedroom, waking him up.  Rubbing his eyes he got out of bed and made his way over to the door, Makkachin practically barreling him over when the door opened and leapt up onto the bed.  “What’s going on?” he asked sleepily.

 

“Yuuri!~” Viktor’s muffled voice came from the couch, “Help!~ Yurio said he wanted a lightly fried fish fillet… but now he’s trying to kill me.”

 

“I TOLD YOU TO SHUT TUE FUCK UP ABOUT THE GODDAMN LIGHTLY FRIED FISH FILLETS!” The smaller Russian shrieked, kicking Viktor off the couch.

 

“Oh god… really?   _Still_!?”  Yuuri exclaimed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

 

“Yuuri… tell him how good they are, the lightly fried fish fillets.” Viktor said, fending off the small angry kitten’s feet.

 

Ignoring Viktor, Yuuri let out a yawn and turned back toward the bedroom. “I’m going back to bed. Yurio, you have my permission to kill him... perhaps even lightly fry him.”  


	2. The bonus chapter we all didn't know we needed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when Yuuri and Yuri thought they were finally done with Viktor and his lightly fried fish fillets, Mila had to go and open her damn mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We needed more lightly fried fish fillets in our lives.

Mila wasn't sure what to think when Viktor had waltzed into the rink, followed by two very angry looking Yuris. 

It was a first for her, she can't ever remember a time where Yuuri Katsuki wasn't joined at the hip with Viktor. A time where the two weren't lovingly gazing into each other's eyes every waking moment of the day. In fact, she hadn't even realized that Yuuri Katsuki could ever get mad, or even mildly annoyed at Viktor.

But here they were now, Viktor was beaming, and both Yuuri Katsuki and Yuri Plisetsky were glaring daggers into his back.

Something was amiss.

Viktor was happy while Yuuri was glaring at him. It was as if she had stepped into an alternate universe. Viktor Nikiforov, the man who would bemoan the fact that  _his beloved Yuuri_ had to leave his side to go pee, was grinning ear to ear, as Yuuri Katsuki, looked like he literally wanted to kill him.

Mila was going to get to the bottom of this. So help her god.

"Mila!" Viktor cooed, coming up next to her as he held out the plate in his hands toward her. "May I interest you in a lightly fried fish fillet?"

And just like that Mila had her answer. She let out a hearty laugh as she picked a fish fillet off the plate. "Why Vitya, I would  _love_ a lightly fried fish fillet."

"Don't." Yuuri warned darkly, "He'll never stop."

Mila smiled warmly at the Japanese man, a devious twinkle in her eye. Oh she knew he would never stop. This happened last year too. Viktor got into one of his moods, made more lightly fried fish fillets than one could ever consume, and proceeded to pawn them off onto every and any one who would glance his way. She had counted twenty nine times he said the words lightly fried fish fillets before Yakov almost took off his head. She could only wonder what the count was up to now. Evidently he started this the night before, which would explain the murderous looks.

"Oh? But Yuuri," she purred, taking a bite out of the fillet she was now holding, "Vitya's lightly fried fish fillets are simply divine."

"Shut up you hag!" Yuri yelled, kicking out a leg in an attempt to attack her, but instead she grabbed the leg and pulled him off balance, shoving a fish fillet into his mouth when he opened it to protest.

"Mila! Yura! What are you two up to?" She heard Yakov boom, a wicked grin crossing her face as she released Yuri and turned to face him.

"Coach Yakov!~" She practically sang, "Vitya has blessed us with his lightly fried fish fillets once again!~"

Yakov paled, frozen on place, hands shaking, and Mila could have sworn that he just saw a ghost. Laughing to herself she stepped back onto the ice and glided away, leaving the two Yuris muttering to themselves as Yakov cursed under his breath.

The next day, everything seemed to have gone back to normal, Viktor was clinging off of Yuuri again, who was giving him endearing looks, Yuri muttering under his breath about how disgusting they were.  Evidently the whole fish fillet thing passed quicker than she liked. Considering it was basically over the moment Yakov grabbed the plate from Viktor, smashed it on the floor and forbade Viktor from saying the words 'lightly fried fish fillets,' much to Mila's dismay.

Mila knew her boundaries, and knew when not to push too far.  Instead she tested the waters by periodically bringing up fish fillets.  She would randomly pull up pictures of fish fillets when having a conversation with Yuri, or have a fried fish fillet for lunch here and there when they all went out to lunch together, just to gauge the two Yuris' reactions.  After about a month and a half it would see that the two Yuris no longer suffered PTSD over the mention of lightly fried fish fillets.

Smirking to herself, she found her way over to where Viktor was coddling Yuuri, an angry Plisetsky standing near them.  "Vitya!~" She purred, drawing their attention.

"What do you want hag?" Yuri spat.

"Not talking to you, Yura." She said ruffling his hair, effectively dismissing him.  "Vitya," She started again, inching closer to him, "may I borrow you for a minute?"

"What is it, kotenok?" He asked with a bright smile unwrapping himself from Yuuri, causing Yuuri to raise a questioning eyebrow at her.

"I need your help with something." She said, a devious grin snaking its way across her face.

"Yes?"

"Well, ever since about a month or so ago, I've simply been craving some lightly fried-"

"NO!" Both Yuris shouted at the same time.

"Excuse me, rude." She said, dismissing them.  "Anyway, Vitya," She continued, the smile on her face growing wider his eyes sparkling with anticipation as she inched closer, "like I was saying, I've simply been craving some lightly fried fish fillets.  That Yakov, stomping on perfectly good lightly fried fish fillets before we got our fill."

Viktor's whole face lit up, and before he could verbalize a response, the two Yuris had pounced on them, screaming and failing their arms everywhere.

"This is wonderful!" Viktor declared as his back hit the ice, not even trying to fight off Yuuri, "My kaki no tane came in the other day, I've been  _dying_ to make some more lightly fried fish fillets."

"Wonderful!~" Mila exclaimed breathlessly, shoving Yuri off of her.  "Perhaps I could come over and you could show me how you make those simply divine lightly fried fish fillets."

"It truly is an exquisite art form, isn't it?" Viktor chuckled, wrapping his arms around Yuuri as he sat up.  "I would  _love_ to show you how to prepare my lightly fried fish fillets."

"Oh dear god no." Yuuri mumbled against Viktor, who was holding him close to his chest, not allowing him to escape.

"I look forward to learning the art of your lightly fried fish fillets."  Mila said coming to a stand.

"I look forward to lightly frying you!" Yuri screamed, rushing toward her again, only to have her catch him and lift him above her head.

"Yurio," Viktor purred, "is that any way to talk to someone offering to make some lightly fried fish fillets for you?"

"FUCK YOU BOTH!" Yuri screamed, attempting to wriggle out of her grip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> Did I really just write about 1700 words just so I can say "lightly fried fish fillets" 50 times? Yes, yes I did.
> 
> Also Shokugeki no Soma, season 1, episode 9


End file.
